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Why did I say no? Why decline?
Why did I have to panic? Why the fear?
Why did I get scared? Why was I so skeptical?
Why are there so many "Why?"'s?
Why couldn't I say it?
Why can't I tell you how I feel?
Why not at that moment?
Why do I have to think about all of this?
I panicked, okay? I'll admit it. I was scared. Afraid.
Why was I so skeptical of you words?
I wish I had said "Yes."
I wouldn't feel this way right now.
I feel so guilty for not saying it.
For telling you how I feel about you.
Can I somehow change my words and have the courage and strangth to confess?
Why did we become such good friends?
Why do you have to be so amazing?
...Why did I fall for you?
Why am I so afraid? Afraid of what?
Afraid of losing my friend where I've lost so many before?
It. Rips. Me. Apart!!
But first, tell me...
What I was asked...
Was it the truth?
Or just a cruel joke?
Falling AwayI can't hear your screams
You tell me to stop
Everything has become numb
I feel nothing
I see nothing
I hear nothing
I am nothing
Why do you scream?
It can't change my past,
It won't change my mind
After I'm gone
You will be better off
Just like everyone wants
I'll leave, you all win
Everything I've ever done
It's all just a mistake
No matter what I do
Or how many times I try
It's not good enough for you, is it?
That's why I'm here
I'll make it better for you
I'll make it better for everyone
I'll walk to the ledge
I'll look down and at the darkness
I'm ready to accept my fate
This is all I'm good for, isn't it?
Just not existing?
That's all I am.
Nothing at all.
The waters below me and the earth
It looks so cold and dark
It will welcome me as I fall
I take my steps forward
Expecting everything to just vanish
Everyone, problems, the world
Just me and the waters
And is it better?
Is it worth it?
Is it all gone?
IronmanHear me read it
My friends used to call William "Ironman" because the first time we kissed he got a nosebleed and the taste of his blood haunted me for a long time after it. We'd only been twelve years old and apparently the anxiety spiked his blood pressure to the point of combustion... I remember that when we were forced to take sex ed a few years later we were divided into separate classes for boys and girls, in case a diagram of an ovary was too risqué and we became animalistic and started clawing at each other in our seats, but nonetheless when our teacher Ms Jacobs had explained to us what an erection was in my mind all I could picture was the blood rushing to his nose and then the slash of cranberry across my blouse.
With the idea planted in his mind it didn't take long for William's hands to start wandering, but the image persisted. Every time I thought about just letting it happen I wondered what would happen if he got too excite
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More